July 17, 2024

How to Be Good to Yourself and Why It Matters

♋Live a clean life. Don’t engage in behaviors that make you feel ashamed, hurt you, or hurt other people’s emotions. If you are doing this, ask yourself why. Talk to someone who can help you understand and overcome these unresolved issues for you.

♋Make room for wholesome things you enjoy doing and people you enjoy sharing with. Read books, watch great movies, see live bands, take trips, discover different cultures, eat wonderful food, explore nature, test your own limits, get new skills, cultivate hobbies, make things, grow things, craft, build and create.

Use your gifts and talents to serve your purpose in the world.

Remember that you are a beautiful person, worthy of love and care. Do not permit anyone to suggest or imply otherwise in how they treat you… and if they do, cut them out of your life or severely limit contact.

Don’t do anything to disrespect yourself, or allow others to disrespect you. Keep your head up and walk away or shut the door if you have to.

Put your self care on priority. Eat well. Exercise and move every day. Reduce stress by setting good boundaries. A simple example, if someone wants to argue when you’re supposed to be asleep and you have work early the next day, don’t take the call or text back. Set your phone on Do Not Disturb at times when you require peace, quiet, and good rest to be at your best.

Get outside into the light and surround yourself with nature every day.

Have fun, push the envelope, be excessive as you need to… but also check yourself. Over the long term, extreme living will burn you out early.

If you’re someone romancing the death wish, like so many young people are in these mixed-up times, stop it. You can’t force an early end for yourself, and if you try to, it’s not going to work out like you think it is.

Minimize escapist activities like smoking weed. You’re just wasting your own time and choosing to be absent for yourself, your family, your loved ones. You are also putting yourself at risk to be used by others because of your permeable boundaries. Mind-altering drugs only exacerbate your vulnerability.

Wake up to signs that people may be using you for their own best interests, not yours. Try to see the long-term picture of their life and your place in it. Do they have the same vision as you? If no, make a plan to leave and do something different with your life.

Always have a backup plan, especially if you tend toward high risk activities. Think in cause and effect. “If I do X, then Y could happen. If it does, my plan will be… _____”

If you’re self destructive (addiction, risky living, not caring for yourself, etc.) thinking that you’ll go out early with a bang, this isn’t how it works in the majority of cases.

What actually happens is that you will continue to live but your health will deteriorate slowly for decades until you are at the complete mercy of other people and the healthcare system who will control everything for you because you can no longer take care of yourself or be autonomous in any way.

This is essentially building a living hell for yourself over time. So put your own wellness on priority and if you are self-harming daily, stop it.

You are here now, and you must take the best care of you because you have a purpose in the big scheme of humanity.

If someone hurt you in your life, don’t ever think that you are weak or lesser because of that. They are, due to their lack of responsibility when you were in their care or under their influence.

If you were challenged in your early years, during that precious time when life should be nothing more than blissful innocence, you may see yourself tragically, and your self-view may be a dark portrait that someone else painted… but in reality, you hold great power.

If you suffered at a young age, it means that you now have tenacity, and an edge over other people.

You have developed wit, shrewdness, sensitivity, resourcefulness, and a kind of street smarts about life because your were tested young, and you managed to pass and survive.

If your past is dark, talk to a therapist about the scary life experiences that shaped who you are now.

If you were bullied, if your parents were narcissistic; if you were neglected; if someone messed with your head… talk about it in a safe space and get it out of your system.

Get the validation you need to heal, be at peace, and find happiness and real love.

If you don’t, you are fated to continue with your escapist and self destructive behaviors… and your inner demons will come out in your subconscious when least expected, and at the expense of those you love the most.

Everyone is here for a purpose. YOU exist in goodness. If you choose to check out early or sleep-walk through life, you’re missing the big picture.

Someone else on this planet could be lost and struggling as you once were. If you’re gone, or mentally absent, who will save that person in the way that only you know how?

Your purpose is to find and relate to those who suffer now as you once suffered… so that, with your stewardship, they, too, can rise to the higher place of knowing, and join you where your soul now resides.

Peace.

-Dina